Sweet, Sweet Fruits of Apostacy

I got a paycheck yesterday for the first time in a very long time.  So, as you can imagine, I was super excited when I opened it.  But as I looked at the number, I had this nagging feeling that I was forgetting something.  Like that wasn't the real amount of money.  Taxes were automatically deducted, telling myself I would put some in savings didn't get rid of the feeling... Did I owe someone money? Then it hit me: TITHING.  The last time I had a job, I was Mormon.  Every time I got a paycheck, my mind would automatically subtract 10%.  I didn't even think about keeping that money--it was a given.  Now it's like a bonus not to donate to the GA's income.
Being an apostate is more fun than I thought!

My New Religion (Not Really)

Big news guys--I decided to go vegan!
What does this have to do with Mormonism, you don't ask? Allow me to explain.
I've been thinking about how good I was at being Mormon, and how I had so much self-control keeping the commandments even though I had so little self-control in the rest of my life. So I decided to put my willpower to good use. Tofu is filling the God-shaped hole in my life. I am replacing meat with coffee. Substituting Ghandi for Joseph Smith, if you will.


And don't worry, I'm still Godless. According to a comment I saw on Youtube, "VEGETARIANS ARE SATANIC & THE BIBLE WARNS OF THEM. The forbidding of eating certain foods is an indication of people departing from the Christian faith. (I Timothy 4:1-5) 'In later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, who advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe & know the truth. For everything created by God is good, & nothing is to be rejected.'"

Logic: One of Satan's Many Weapons

The other day I was talking to a dear (non-LDS) Christian friend of mine.  He knows I don't believe in the church anymore, but he asked me to explain how Mormons believe in the Bible and The Book of Mormon.  Personally, I think that's pretty easy to explain.  I said just said the whole "Jesus also visited the Americas," "gospel for the whole earth," "the two books complement, not contradict," etc.   I was pretty satisfied with my explanation, so I said something along the lines of, "I know it's not true, but it makes sense, right?"  And he said:


"The fact that it's so logical makes me not believe it."



He was dead fucking serious.  I was all "?!" And he tried to sound less insane by saying that a lot of aspects of Christianity are paradoxes.  Those were his words.  I kid not.  So, everything that doesn't make sense is true.  Lorsh help us.



In other illogical news, check out this Facebook post from one of my TBM friends:
"Favorite part of scripture study yesterday: Jazz was reading and Jayden's turn was coming up. I didn't know how much he actually listened before his turn until he says "Oh! I love this part!" and started reading. He's nine years old and all boy and he drives me bonkers, but he strengthened my testimony just by being himself."


Ok, that's cute.  He's smart for a 9-year-old.  Reading level.  I get that.  But "strengthened your testimony"? Just because a kid likes a story doesn't mean that story is true.




End of rant.

He's an RM, So it's All Good.

When an 18-year-old changes her Facebook status to "engaged" to a guy she's been dating for a month, normal people would assume she's kidding.  Mormons, however, will say "Congratulations! Which temple??"


By the way, this girl wasn't kidding.